![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
[ He laughs—mostly silent, mostly air, but his chest shakes—genuinely startled by the punchline, and shakes his head. ] Now you've made it mean, [ he says, without fire, because he understands social dynamics well enough to know that elves are a little entitled to Stupid Shem jokes. After a moment he adds, ] Thank you, [ and throws another pinecone. ]
[She giggles and affectionately touches her cheek to his shoulder. But his thanks catches her off-guard enough that she almost forgets to zap the pinecone. And for a second, she wants to blurt out foolish things. She wants to tell him she will always put him first, but that sounds besotted and it's also a promise she might not be able to keep. Maybe. Would she? She can't always tell when something like that comes from the heart and when it comes from that destructive place Keeper Deheune raised her in. The question she has found is this: will this bleed her dry, like she bled for her clan since she was nine?
No. This evening, she has listened. She has related. And she has laughed. She feels renewed, not drained. This is how it's meant to be done, not the other way.]
It cost me nothing, [she says quietly.] And I want you to know that if you need me, I will be here. It doesn't matter if I'm working. If you need me, you can find me, and I will stop whatever I'm doing and help you.
No. This evening, she has listened. She has related. And she has laughed. She feels renewed, not drained. This is how it's meant to be done, not the other way.]
It cost me nothing, [she says quietly.] And I want you to know that if you need me, I will be here. It doesn't matter if I'm working. If you need me, you can find me, and I will stop whatever I'm doing and help you.
Well. It must have been a very lovely night, to make a very lovely baby.
It was. I sang to her, of course- she is a Merchant herself, a very fine Antivan lady. Hair like midnight, eyes like stars, and absolutely no patience for my posturing. You would like her very much I think. She knew my reputation, knew what she wanted, and we both enjoyed ourselves quite a bit.
[A broad smile as she rests her cheek against Lucci's head.] It's rather like us. We knew what it was, we enjoyed it, and we remember it. But now we're friends. I like it better now, actually.
It's all right. [She starts to gently coax her hair from the little hands.] I've been accustomed to this for years. Some bits of my hair are shorter than others because of babies. I don't resent it. They are all perfect.
I am now envisioning you as a mother. It suits you.
[ Pel with a child of her own, with someone to care for her and support her in all that she did, doting and working in equal parts. It is an idyllic scene.
Unawares Lucci shifts his grip from her hair to her fingers, tugging them to his mouth to gum. ]
[ Pel with a child of her own, with someone to care for her and support her in all that she did, doting and working in equal parts. It is an idyllic scene.
Unawares Lucci shifts his grip from her hair to her fingers, tugging them to his mouth to gum. ]
[There's a broader smile as she lets Lucci gum her fingers, gently casting an ice spell that helps cool his swollen, teething gums.]
I want about a hundred of these. I've been there for some births, and a lot of babies. I remember when Merrick was born. I want some to call my own.
I want about a hundred of these. I've been there for some births, and a lot of babies. I remember when Merrick was born. I want some to call my own.
[She nods.]
I was...seven? I always had this idea he was my baby. A couple years later, his mother died in the plague. And his father...
[She grows solemn, and holds Lucci like he reminds her of someone else.]
Someone needed to be his mother.
I was...seven? I always had this idea he was my baby. A couple years later, his mother died in the plague. And his father...
[She grows solemn, and holds Lucci like he reminds her of someone else.]
Someone needed to be his mother.
[She looks at Lucci. He has such delicate ears, but such a lack of regard. He takes it for granted that he will live.
Maybe that's why she wants children so badly. Children remind her the Child is not wholly successful. No, that's not everything, but she sees Lucci and knows the Child cannot win every time.]
Elgara vallas, da'len, [she sings softly, tucking Lucci's head beneath her cheek, and pauses, aborting the song before it takes flight.] News doesn't spare infants. Darkness doesn't. I would, when it's possible.
Maybe that's why she wants children so badly. Children remind her the Child is not wholly successful. No, that's not everything, but she sees Lucci and knows the Child cannot win every time.]
Elgara vallas, da'len, [she sings softly, tucking Lucci's head beneath her cheek, and pauses, aborting the song before it takes flight.] News doesn't spare infants. Darkness doesn't. I would, when it's possible.
What we wish for our children is that they have a better life than we did, yes?
[ It is all he wants for Lucci. Something safer, something kinder. It is not so easily done in this world, let alone as an elf. But as he reaches out to smooth back some of his curls those eyes catch his and he cannot help but smile.
Perhaps there is hope. ]
He shall know no fear as I did when I was a child in the Crows.
[ It is all he wants for Lucci. Something safer, something kinder. It is not so easily done in this world, let alone as an elf. But as he reaches out to smooth back some of his curls those eyes catch his and he cannot help but smile.
Perhaps there is hope. ]
He shall know no fear as I did when I was a child in the Crows.
There's going to be people helping you work toward that. You're not alone. [She kisses Lucci's cheek.] Neither of you.
Everyone thinks they're the worst parent in the world. Most children turn out all right anyhow.
Then nobody's better capable of protecting him.
Edited 2016-06-11 18:39 (UTC)
Page 8 of 12