I did not want to tell him before I knew what I was going to do- I considered sending him away to somewhere safe and can you imagine his reaction if I told him 'oh I have a child but I am sending him away for his own good?'

Better that he not know if I do that. Now he is in the Western Approach dealing with warden things and, I think, hurt that I did not join him and this is something I would tell him to his face.