Hm. Ponder it in the dark of night, let it keep you up until you realize it's been part of you all along? Then get a good night's sleep and move on with your life? That's what most people do.
Exactly. It'll be a burden on your soul no matter what you do about it. You can't bring back the dead. And making amends to the living will probably hurt them more than help. Why do you think I've not tracked down Pryderi's living family and made myself an example of?
Then I truly have no choice then. [Another sigh.] Listen, Sina will be taken care of, if I have your permission. Everything I possess -- it will be hers one day. I want to make sure she has every opportunity.
Wh...what are you doing, James? It sounds like you're doing the opposite of what I've been saying. And I'm giving you no permission whatever until you've explained.
I have to go put myself before the Seekers, Pel. I killed innocent mages - probably more than I want to imagine. [He will not hide behind Meredith's mad skirts.] The responsibility is mine, thus, the punishment.
James, no. That isn't how the world works. There's no person you can go to to make you stop feeling this way. And if you'll notice, the Inquisition is full of murderers. Some of them are or leaders. If you start demanding justice for every murder...
That's why we're here, James. We're saving the world and maybe leaving it better than it was before this mess. Making a system that's built less on the murder of innocents. Because if you're going to go there, there are whole murdering nations. And none of those people are willing to feel it. You feel it because you are a good man, and you bear that burden for the people who refuse it. Just as I do. Suck it up.
But they're not just - [Yes they are and you know it.] I'm not demanding justice for every murder, just the ones that I've committed. [And the ones you haven't?]
How can I fix a system that is in fact built on the murder of innocents? [He sounds utterly exasperated now, which is better than the grim determination from before.] And how precisely does one Suck It Up? It's murder - not a bruised knee!
You feel it. You suffer. You stand there and you take it and you feel absolutely every blow it has to deal and don't go looking for an easy way out because there isn't one. And looking for one is a disservice to the people you hurt. You stand there and you take it, James Norrington, and line up with the rest of us. Or do you think you're better than me?
[Hold on, he is taking a moment to respond to this that isn't a noise that sounds like a dying goose.
Finally, there is a grunt.]
I have never had the privilege to think I'm better than you. You've always been the smart one.
[Which means -- you're right.]
...I cannot just stand here. The ability to accept my guilt is one thing. Not doing anything about it seems intolerable. If not punishment then improving the world for mages.
[He finds her in her temporary office, as she figured by going to look for him, she'd prolong the search for them both. Her arms are open to him when he finds her, though an embrace is difficult with there being another person and all. But her lips find his easily.]
[Well honestly there's been a lot more between them than just a person. Still, he clutches her close and kisses those lips with faint desperation. Do not. Cry.]
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The later end of Cloudreach- Crystal Message
[A heavy sigh.]
I have had a dark realization about myself, and my soul is burdened. I can see only one course of action, but it frightens me.
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But then again, what choice do I have? The facts do not re-arrange themselves for my benefit.
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James? When have the Seekers ever punished the killing of innocent mages?
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Well. All the time.
[Blink.]
Or. They should. In theory. They're there to keep the Templars in check from ... misusing... their powers.
[Hrm.]
Right, well, the three the Inquisition have will do that.
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That's why we're here, James. We're saving the world and maybe leaving it better than it was before this mess. Making a system that's built less on the murder of innocents. Because if you're going to go there, there are whole murdering nations. And none of those people are willing to feel it. You feel it because you are a good man, and you bear that burden for the people who refuse it. Just as I do. Suck it up.
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How can I fix a system that is in fact built on the murder of innocents? [He sounds utterly exasperated now, which is better than the grim determination from before.] And how precisely does one Suck It Up? It's murder - not a bruised knee!
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Finally, there is a grunt.]
I have never had the privilege to think I'm better than you. You've always been the smart one.
[Which means -- you're right.]
...I cannot just stand here. The ability to accept my guilt is one thing. Not doing anything about it seems intolerable. If not punishment then improving the world for mages.
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Now come find me and kiss me because I've been trying not to cry and you're not supposed to scare a pregnant woman like this.
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[That is his Greatest Weakness and he's coming to kiss you right now.]
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